They're Dropping Like Flies

First Renee and Kenny, now Tori and Charlie. How can the rest of us hope to make marriage work? And you know these things always come in threes. Who's next, Julia and Danny? Ben and Jen? Or, dare I say it? Britney and Kevin? Pretend you didn't hear that last one. That would be unthinkable.

Renee and Kenny have only been married four months. That's barely enough time to have changed their vacuum cleaner bag, much less their minds. And it's not like they have the stresses we mere mortals have, like making the mortgage payment on time, keeping up with the laundry, and finding time to stop at the grocery store after work. They have people to do all that. I guess it just shows that, even if you have no money issues, marriage is tough. You'd think Renee and Kenny would give it a bit more than four months, but what do we know? Here's what came to my mind when I first heard the news........ Do you think they will return the wedding presents they received?

UPDATE: There may be hope yet. Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards might be getting back together.

UPDATE #2: OMG!!! I can't believe I forgot the Mother of all Breakups--Brad and Jen. I guess it was too painful for me to think about all over again. I'm in such denial...

The end of everything

Mr. Minivan, who has many many wonderful qualities that I will discuss in depth at a later date, also has several that drive me crazy. The man refuses to use up the last bit of certain things. Shampoo is one of them. I realized this years ago when I went to empty the wastebasket in the bathroom he showers in. Imagine my horror when I noticed, in the trash, his bottle of shampoo, discarded with an inch and a half of shampoo still in it!! Well, I was raised right, so I knew what I had to do--I pulled the bottle out of the garbage, turned it upside down, and put it back in the shower. Of course he ignored it so over the years I've devised a little system to fool him--I pour the last bit of the shampoo into the new bottle he is using. You do what you have to do.

Now that the shampoo problem has been solved, I realize I must turn my attention to Grape-Nuts. He will not eat the last inch or two of the bag of Grape-Nuts, claiming it is all "dust". Last night I found the old bag of Grape-Nuts (with 2 inches of "dust" in it) on the counter with the new box, opened, next to it. He may be onto me about the shampoo, so I have to proceed carefully.

The thing is, if it were me with this "last bit" issue, I'd just do what I wanted and hide the evidence. But I'm much sneakier than Mr. Minivan (I actually prefer the word "clever")--and one of the things I love about him is that hiding the evidence would never occur to him!

Anyone have a good recipe for Grape-Nut muffins?

It's not their fault!!

During the twelve and a half years that I've been married, I've often wondered how it was possible that my husband, Mr. Minivan, a college grad (business school, too!) could forget/ignore the simplest of requests. How could it happen that, when repeatedly asked to take out the garbage or recycling, he would immediately walk past said bag of trash or newspapers? I know he's got a good memory for certain things because he remembers in great detail the intricacies of various business deals and complicated football plays from the 1985 Bears. Imagine my surprise when I read today that it is actually harder for men to hear women's voices than men's voices.

Now I realize it's not that he's playing a little passive-aggressive mind game with me or just ignoring me. He has an actual physiological impediment, as do all men. I feel so much better now.