Sunday, December 23, 2007

Just Another Starry Saturday Night

Last night we went to a Christmas party given by the brother and wife of a friend of Mr. Minivan. I told Mr. Minivan I was bringing a book. "Oh no you're not!" he said. "What if I get bored?" I asked. We drove up to the guard house of this gated community and once the list was checked, got clearance to go to the house. The massive massive house in a neighborhood of massive massive houses. We deposited the car with the valet and walked toward the front door. The first people I saw when I walked in were Dr. Phil and Robin, and their son and his beautiful blond triplet wife. Oh, and Barry Bonds. But I didn't actually know it was Barry Bonds until someone told me. At that point, one minute into the party, I admitted to Mr. Minivan that I was glad I had left my book at home. The house was huge and beautiful, decorated with Christmas decorations and family photos. Entertainment consisted of a psychic, a DJ, an ice skater--yes, on the ice rink that had been constructed on the lawn next to the pool, and, strangely enough, a group of Medievally-dressed singers that were like the low talker on Seinfeld--low singers, maybe? I assume they were singing Christmas carols but I couldn't really hear them. They looked great, though. Security men in suits all over. I kept watching them to see if they were speaking into their wrists, but they weren't. I also kept seeing guys that looked familiar--maybe I went to college or high school with them--no, I've seen them on TV, that's it. Many of the doctors from Dr. 90210 were there, too. Rumor was that Britney would be there later. I thought it would be the perfect time for an intervention with Dr. Phil but Brit-Brit never showed. I met Joe Pesci (without Angie Everhart--heard later they are no longer together) and yes, every other word out of his mouth IS "f-ing"--WITHOUT the dash. Also met Barry Bonds, Wesley Snipes, Gloria Allred (victims' rights attorney--was Amber Frey's lawyer), Robert Shapiro (was OJ's lawyer), Linda Thompson Jenner (was Elvis' girlfriend, was Bruce Jenner's wife, is mom of Brody Jenner, Hills star and tabloid darling)--everybody was very nice and very friendly. Oh, I forgot to mention I also met Paris Hilton. She was there with Britney's cousin Allie and Sam Lutfi. Yes, that Paris Hilton. She is very pretty, was dripping in diamonds, and was lovely to talk to. She is smart, very charismatic, and is a master manipulator. Oh, and my new best friend. She asked me if her lipstick was OK--it was bright red and she felt it was too red but it was the only one she had. "It's fine," I said, "it's the holidays..,,you can wear red." Yep, one day I am giving makeup advice to Paris Hilton and the next day I am folding laundry. Happy Holidays everyone!!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Parents, Ladies, and Celebrities Who Lunch

My parents came to visit for Thanksgiving and it was great! We cooked, ate, brined, talked, ping-ponged, Rummikubed, shopped, and just hung out. My dad is a big pizza aficionado and the newest, most-talked about restaurant in L.A. is Pizzeria Mozza, so we went. I made a lunch reservation--this is one of those places where you have to make a dinner reservation a month in advance unless you want to "dine" at 4:30 or 10:45. When we got there I realized why reservations are so tough to come by. I had thought it would be one of those big "sceney" places, but it was tiny. There were maybe 13 tables and about 20 seats total at the pizza bar and regular bar. We were seated--the three of us--at what I would consider a table for 2. My mom and I were on one side and my dad on the other. But it was fine. The service was excellent and the food divine. Things not to miss if you dine at Mozza: the brussels sprouts antipasto, any bruschetta, the chopped salad, and the fennel sausage pizza. The much talked-about fried squash blossoms were quite forgettable. All three of us said we would definitely go back. A few minutes after we had been seated I noticed 2 men approaching the table next to us. "That guy looks a lot like Ray Romano," I thought to myself. Of course, it WAS Ray Romano--being seated at the next table right next to my dad. Ray and his friend also ordered the brussels sprouts although Ray didn't want to because he said he didn't like them. I restrained myself from joining the conversation and raving about the sprouts. The tables there are so close together that I could have reached over and salted his food. But, of course, being jaded about all the celebrities here, why would I? I discreetly whispered to my mom that he was at the next table. But I couldn't lean over and tell my dad because his hearing is not what it used to be and I knew he would say loudly, "WHO? Ray Who?" So I had to wait til we left the restaurant to tell him of his celebrity non-sighting. Maybe it was a celebrity seating?