Sunday, June 11, 2006

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

I am getting so tired of people doubting me. Or even worse--calling me a liar-- when I have the courtesy to let them know of my star sightings. After all, sightings are so common here that it's really no big deal to us residents. I just feel that I have a duty to all the little people I know back in the Heartland, back in the Midwest, the South, and the East, to let them know what is going on out here. So when I tell people that I saw Pamela Anderson Lee at a Little League game (stringy bleached blond hair, layered t-shirts, looks like she's been around a few blocks a few times) or Jerry Seinfeld at a burger place (burger, half a bun, no fries, looks exactly like Jerry Seinfeld, jeans, blue polo shirt, driving an in-perfect-condition powder blue 1970's VW Bug), why must they doubt me? IF I were going to make up a sighting, wouldn't I come up with one just slightly better than, say, Pamela Anderson? I mean, c'mon, I would at least throw a Barbra Streisand or a Julia Roberts at you, wouldn't I? I am just trying to report breaking news as it occurs. And I can't always get a good photo. I only have a Canon PowerShot. It has a tiny little zoom. Sometimes you are just going to have to be satisfied with Pamela back or Jerry's VW. It's called TRUST, people. Get with it.


Anonymous said...


The Big Squay said...

Yawn. These people are the fodder for People, Teen People and Alter Kacker People. Some of the people you see are actually the same people - Lindsey Lohan = Hillary Duff, those Ashley twins, Tom Cruise = Jack Black (they're Jewish!). There's actually only about two or three real celebrities; the rest are stunt doubles, lookalikes or Krusty the Klown.

Remember what I said about the IQ points dropping in LA county; this is only further proof that you're really slipping.

Anonymous said...

I believe you!!!! you know, they pay big bucks for candid shots like these ; )