Thursday, April 12, 2007

Crazy Here Crazy There

There's craziness everywhere. I leave Chicago and one year later the principal at our former elementary school gets demoted, a gorgeous blond mom switches teams and now her ex-husband is trying to get the gym teacher she is dating (not that there's anything wrong with that) fired, and a janitor at our former synagogue is arrested for videotaping children in the restroom (clearly there is something VERY wrong with that). Oh, yes, and it snowed yesterday. Several inches. In April. It would seem to me that the problem is obvious. I left and the whole town fell apart. I know it sounds crazy but how can you argue with such evidence. None of these things happened when I was there. I rest my case.

And then I came to L.A. A place where people bring dogs into stores. Yes, they do. I know, I know, they do that is Europe. But last time I checked we used dollars, not Euros. People here also wear Uggs in 75 degree weather. Well, of course they do. It goes with their scarves. And here is another weird thing specific to the entertainment industry. When you call someone--or should I say someone's assistant--and they can't take the call they say, "Can he return?" Or, even more pretentious, "Can we return?" Not, "Can he return the call?" No. That would take too much time, I guess. "Can he return?" What a great time-saver. And everybody does it. I am planning to start doing it myself. Of course I have no assistant so I have to figure out how to handle that problem. I may pretend to be my own assistant. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Craziness is not limited to one time zone. We can all participate. That's the beauty and the promise of America.


Anonymous said...

Boy I miss you!!!
Glad to be back on the list and yes Highland Park IS falling apart without you!!

Anonymous said...

"gay" is not a personal choice! --the gossip string goes on!
the rest of your blog is a delight.

Anonymous said...

Now you can come back, buy a new house and you are set ... and Highland Park will be back to normal!!!

Martwork said...

Are you kidding me? I'd be happy to explain the Seinfeld references to you if you want. I know "gay" is not a personal choice. I'm the last person you have to tell that to. The rest of your comment was a delight, though. Lighten up, sister.

Anonymous said...

What gay people aren't just sinners who want to go to hell? Couldn't they stop if they wanted to and be straight? My previous beliefs are just dashed, I tell you. I am cast down and despondant!

But I can see how, without the Martwork dynamo, an entire city could crumble into chaos. You can't leave LA now, because this place will not withstand your loss, it's already quite precarious!