Let's just take a minute and let this sink in before I go over my qualifications for you. OK, here we go. I realized this morning, as I got ready to go to a PTA meeting, that I would be a great Vice-President. I've always been very involved with the PTAs of my sons' schools--I have many years of experience working in a group, often with very difficult people. Have you ever dealt with a mother who's been told she can't park in the pick-up line at 3:15 and run into school for "just a minute?" Or one who is trying to save the whole front row of seats at the school play? I have. It's not pretty. So Afghanistan and Iraq should be a cinch to deal with.
It's no easier on the home front. Have you ever tried to wake up a sleepy 6-foot-tall 9th grader who doesn't want to get up? Or remind several male people to put the seat down? Or tell your husband where the jelly is or where the paper towels are for the 5000th time? I do all this--and so much more--every day! So as far as domestic policy is concerned--I truly believe I am ready.
I am a great multi-tasker. Even as I am typing this I am on a phone call and checking out the news headlines on Yahoo. Yet I am giving each of these tasks the careful thought and consideration it deserves.
I was just suckered into--I mean--I was just made recording secretary of the high school's PTA. That's a BIG job requiring careful listening and good penmanship. Not to mention computer skills. And organizational skills. I went to the meeting as an ordinary mom and hit the ground running as the recording secretary. I also campaigned for another spot within the PTA. I had to make a campaign speech off the top of my head and I can basically sum it up like this, "It's time for a change!"
And so I say to you, my dear readers and friends: We need a change right now. It's time for a change. Now more than ever before. I'm all for a woman VP or President--but it has to be the right woman. Especially when she is going to be a heartbeat away from a 70-something President with some not-so-insignificant prior health issues. I think you know who I'm talking about. We need the right woman. Not one picked because she has a great pair of glasses or whatever--but one picked after careful vetting and consideration. Mine are nice though. (I'm talking about the glasses. Not the whatevers.) Yes, we need the right woman. We need me.
Some differences between me and you-know-who:
1. She went to 5 colleges in 6 years. I went to just one. For four years. A good one.
2. She got a passport last year and has been out of the country once, on an official tour of military installations in Kuwait and Germany. A spokesperson's claim that she's also been to Ireland was actually a refueling stop during the Kuwait/Germany trip. I've been out of the country many times. I know all the good places to shop. If that's not a good start to our foreign policy I don't know what is.
3. I stand for freedom of speech, freedom of choice, and freedom to read whatever you want.
4. I will work hard to protect the rights of women, children, the earth, and polar bears.
5. I think sex education is a good thing. Sometime when kids don't learn about stuff like that they actually get pregnant at age 17.
6. I do not have a baby. Or a pregnant teen-ager. Both of whom just might need a lot of face time with their mom in the near future.
7. I am a people person. I play well with others. If my mother-in-law ran for political office, I would support her. If only for the sake of harmony at the Thanksgiving table. And I make a great brownie. And fabulous short ribs. What world leader wouldn't listen to our point of view over a short rib dinner followed by a plate of homemade brownies? It's a win-win.
So.....domestic experience....check. Foreign experience.....check. Organizational skills....check. People skills.....check. Good listener....check. Multi-tasking skills.....check. I think I've hit all the major categories. Check. Check. Check.
So, for those reasons, and so many more, I urge you to vote for me on November 4th!! My campaign starts immediately. Donations and volunteers are needed and much appreciated.
Change starts now!..........
This post was approved by Mrs. Minivan.